A Final Once Over Before The In The Moment And Now

a shaky glitter legs train stop is not what i needed not tonight nor not ever certainly no if in fact we're bein' not to mention specifyin' so i thinks on to other things which are other things worth thinkin' on much more of much less but much more and so much so because they're things worth thinkin' on in the circumstance or otherwise things like the origins of 'circumstance' and all its latin originations what with the 'with' embedded because i know a certain someone who would understand such an embeddination and the same certain someone who is worth thinkin' on in the latest circumstances which have turned out to be pleasant in the surprises yet not surprises that come with and it's a good feelin' this thinkin' on a good thing indeed. and so much so.

i roll through my head like a mouth full of marbles the decline of families and the missed opportunities and the left behind escapin' that i have might just maybe have done in my life or at least read through the words of the othern who have made my life that which it is in and of itself and of course of othern because who are any of us with out 'em. nothin' that's who. the who what are the who that which we are because of and no other reason except for that same and very who what let us down while we do the same in the cities too numerous to name.

and then a ring like phone but not quite but close enough

and then a buttoned silence like an acceptance of such

and then as i was listening and ready a...
-it's me
-who else
-i just called to say
-i know
-sometimes you are nicest
-in the early morning hours
-when you are even
-dead to the world
-i know

and we repeated reversin' that self same conversation until those same early morning hours that had lost all that magic that they were used to havin' back when what was was more an is until it was all just words on a page but still not quite page like we grew up knowin' continued until she faded out across a sea i'd sailed so many times before with waves and wind and hull battered back and forth.

and all this after a birthday party for a mangy pup among the hollows in the well painted walls of the old little new paris of this city's straightened boulevards where i was quizzed and tested and subjected to likin' a somethin' i ain't never gonna and no how but all with a love casual hands and friendship i don't get all too often enough.

i felt alone and at the same time i felt found like i hadn't in so very long.